One day I was working out of a cafe across from the Body Factory, and a guy sat next to me. We started chatting. He said that he loves Bali, he likes the quality of the gyms here, and that he hates fat people. I choked on my soda. “You…hate? Are you joking?”
“No. I really hate fat people, they’re obviously lazy, like, I mean – you’re not fat.” Ahhh little did he know that I used to be 30 pounds over what my doctor would have gently recommended was my ideal weight. And I’m 5’2”. In no universe could I relate to him.
I slurped my coca cola loudly, told the guy he sucked, and moved to another table. I wondered, is this what Canggu has truly become? A mecca of steroid-chugging, botox-pumping 30-year-olds who actually believe that humans are little more than the sum of their body mass index?
Cue the Russian supermodel whizzing past on an Nmax in a sports bra, plumped-up lips, and Celine sunglasses. Of course she’s not wearing a helmet. I wish I could say that social media gives a deceitful misrepresentation of Canggu, making it appear that this popular coastal town is only inhabited by the young and beautiful. But ya’ll, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. As far as people-watching goes, Canggu feels like it’s hosting open casting calls for Love Island – and the patio at Revolver will give you a front row seat.
I often wonder why everyone is so impossibly good looking, and fit. Is that a requirement for entering this expat-influencer-hipster-instagram bubble? And what if…I don’t look like them? It’s a question that pops up frequently on the Bali women’s Facebook Groups. It usually goes something like this: I’m overweight and out of shape. I’m not happy with how I look, but I really want to explore Canggu and see what it’s all about. Do you think I’ll be judged if I hang out there?
Most women proceed to flood the comments with sisterly support, stern reassurance, and finger snapping ‘you rock that body with pride gurlfrewnn’. But I know there’s something missing from this encouragement of body positivity, because the truth is, yes, you will be judged. I thought back to my younger, fatter self. What had I wished someone would have told me then, when I was cursing God for giving me a curvy body in a country of petite Asian women? I wish someone had told me: If you focus on your mental health, then everything else will fall into place.
Let your D-cup titties bounce, let your belly see some sun. You deserve to have as much fun in Canggu as all your petite friends do.
Those years when I was overweight, I was battling a severe depressive episode. Sexy neuroscientist zaddy Andrew Huberman popped up on my Youtube feed and suggested taking morning walks, and letting the first rays of sunlight touch my eyeballs to cope with depression. These were just two of his key ingredients for optimal mental health.
Quotes:
Is this what Canggu has truly become? A mecca of steroid-chugging, botox-pumping 30-year-olds who actually believe that humans are little more than the sum of their body mass index?
Morning walks became a sacred ritual for me, a way to beat intrusive thoughts and find joy in living again. Turns out, walking is one of the most effective ways to lose weight, not a 3-month membership at Finns. I lost thirty pounds as a byproduct of working on my mind. And that’s the issue with the body positivity movement. While telling people to love their bodies is nice, it’s problematic not to address the deeper, underlying mental health concerns associated with body image.
These days, body insecurities take up less space in my mind. I don’t love my body, but I like it. And I have something a lot of these beautiful Canggu people don’t. I have confidence, and strong thighs thick enough to crush a cacao fruit. The best part is, now that I no longer indulge in body comparison, I have time to complain about other stuff in Canggu. Seriously, what’s up with ugly Scandinavian style investment properties? Why is Padel so expensive? Is it just me or do those policemen at the intersections make the traffic worse?
There’s something missing from all the encouragement of body positivity, because the truth is, yes, you will be judged.
From the author:
I am a Texas Indonesian writer based in Bali. When I’m not napping or making margaritas, I go on disastrous dates with tourists. I channel my fascination with human absurdity into personal essays and humorous romantic fiction. When I grow up I want to be funny.
https://substack.com/@thaliaarcherbali
